Meredith is going through a bit of an odd stage. She doesn’t want to crawl. At all. For any reason. She also prefers not to be carried unless she’s tired. But she loves to walk. The thing is, she doesn’t seem quite confident in herself yet. She can walk on her own, she has even run a few times, but she doesn’t most of the time yet. She wants to hold our fingers and walk that way. Which is fine, except she also seems to have way more energy than I do, so it does get tiring. She even walks up and down the stairs now, holding our fingers.
It also means that instead of crawling around to get toys she wants, she sits (or stands) wherever she is and points at what she wants and yells. I’m a big believer in allowing her to play without interference from me. I am there if she needs me or seems to want me to join in, but most of the time I am reading, or doing dishes, or whatnot, and she is doing her own thing nearby. But I am needing to be there for her much more recently, to help her get to where she wants to go. I don’t jump up and go running at the first peep though. If she drops a toy or something quite close to her and wants me to get it, I might say something like: “Oops, you dropped that block. I bet you can reach over and grab it pretty easily” first. I don’t let her get to the point that she’s really frustrated or upset, but often just pausing and saying something like that is enough that she will grab it on her own quite happily. And if not, I don’t mind doing it for her. I know her intention is not to be lazy or bossy.
I think she may be teething again, which of course might have something to do with her wanting us to do more for her recently.
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Ha! It’s more tiring for you because you’re probably bending over to hold her hand when she wants to walk!
Don’t worry too much about teaching her that she can do it on her own or being so vocal if you don’t want it to become a (light hearted) “can I make mommy do this” game. If I were you, I’d just pass her the thing she’s after with little thought or display if I was there and could reach it. It’s one of those things that I think people will say “if you get it for her all the time, you’ll always have to”, but I think if you just do it then they learn that no power struggle is needed, trust is gained that you’ll help her when she needs or wants you to and helping follows asking for help. Good lessons to be learnt by your modelling for the future and she’s in the position to respond to someone’s requests. She’ll want to get things on her own soon enough- especially once she masters this walking business!
I know you’re not worrying- just some thoughts and I hope you don’t mind…
Yes, I am having to bend over to hold her hand, so that’s definitely a big part of it. Especially going down the stairs. My poor aching back, ha. Luckily Kris got her to sleep on him for her evening nap tonight and I had a nice long bath.
And no I don’t mind at all getting advice. Part of the reason I started this blog was to hear thoughts and ideas on things like that from more experienced moms whose advice I value. When I’m close to her and it’s easy to reach what she wants I do (normally, but I’ll watch myself) just grab it and hand it to her without saying anything. It’s more when she’s sitting next to it and I’m across the room that I might say something. You’re right though. I’m definitely not worried about her suddenly becoming overly dependent (and even if she does, she’s a one year old), but I also don’t want to be so quick to jump up and try and do things for her that she never gets the chance to try on her own, if you know what I mean. But you made a really good point, that if she is clearly asking for help I’d like to model to her that I don’t mind helping her out.