Father Anxiety…

Last night Lindsay went to a scrapbooking thing to make christmas cards, which was scheduled from around 6:30-9:30.  Immediately I started feeling anxious, which to be honest is how I always feel when Lindsay is leaving me alone with Meredith.  Each time I tell myself that it’ll get better when she’s older but it hasn’t yet (the anxiety that is).  It seems pretty stupid when you think about it since I’ve been doing this for as long as she has and its not like I only take care of Meredith when Lindsay is out of the house.  After spending all day with mommy, Meredith often wants me in the evenings.

But when it gets right down to it, Lindsay spends more time alone with Meredith than I do…about 40 hours a week more on average.  On top of that, she has built in pacifiers and food sources and most likely there’s some mommy magic mixed in there too.  

I’ve never had a problem when she goes out.  She was gone for most of that 3 hours and Meredith didn’t spend the entire time screaming.  In fact, we had a good time playing with some stuffed animals, in the bath and having a walk together.  But for whatever reason, no matter how many times I look after her alone, I still feel anxious about it beforehand and even during.  What if she hurts herself and I can’t make her feel better.  What if she gets hungry and wants milk and won’t try anything else, etc…

I don’t think my feelings are all that unusual.  I’d guess that most fathers feel the same way, especially fathers that are employed full time while the mother stays at home.  It got me wondering about why I feel this way.  To be honest, I have more experience with kids and young babies than Lindsay does.  I grew up in a foster home (No, i wasn’t in foster care) and we had young kids and babies in and out of my house all the time.  I have two (well almost two) adopted brothers that came into my life when I was already an adult.  Obviously I wasn’t the primary care giver, but I babysat reasonably frequently and I was involved in their care at least part of the time.  

So what about other fathers?  If I feel this insecure and anxious about being alone with my daughter after all the experience I’ve had in my life, how much worse must it be for guys who’ve never done this before.  So to all the fathersout there, try not to worry too much, it’ll get better…

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  2. Go with the flow…
  3. A different perspective…

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“'You can't give what you don't have,' some people say, and if you want your children to give generosity and kindness and patience to others, you should give them so much they're overflowing with it.”
Sandra Dodd