I am the stay-at-home mother to a beautiful little girl born in August 2007, with a second baby due March 2010. I’m not a fan of labels, but in order to keep things simple I’ll say that my husband and I practice attachment parenting and natural family living. I had her here at home, and we believe in cosleeping, baby wearing, extended breastfeeding, baby-led introduction to solids, child-led weaning, eating organic as finances allow and as unprocessed as possible, eating grass-fed meats, living consensually, elimination communication, and self-directed learning. We don’t believe in public schools, forced teaching, spanking, circumcision, or vaccinations. I strive to make sustainable life choices and believe that a child deserves as much respect for his or her choices and feelings as I do. This includes the right to question a request or say no, and that alternatives can almost always be found so that everyone can keep their dignity. I don’t believe that my way of living is the right way for every family and respect others who parent or live differently (as long as parents and children are all respected), and ask for the same in return.
I am lucky to be able to stay at home with my children, though I do have some minor work-at-home projects on occasion.
I want to quote from an article on natural family living, as it really sums up much better than I could how I feel about life and parenting. This is from the end, but the entire article is worth a read.
Natural family living is about optimum survival, but it is not about making rules for proper behavior. That is the last thing we need. Parents don’t need any more guilt or more inflated standards of perfection. This is the beauty of natural family living, which is about falling back into ourselves and trusting our own natures again. It is not about conforming to anything. Natural family living is about trust in the natural order of things, trust in the innate goodness and perfectibility of people, trust that each child is following his or her individual timetable for development. What this means practically is: Trust your body. Trust your baby. Trust yourself.
I know that it can be hard to trust ourselves as parents. We want to ascribe a dogma to others and invest our authority in them. It’s easy for Mothering, or for me personally, to be seen as such authorities. We publish articles with strong points of view and encourage parents to trust the legitimate needs of their babies. However, what we really hope for are authentic and original individuals, people who are thoughtful about their parenting choices and who look at all sides of an issue before making a decision. What is most natural, it seems to me, is the need to choose for ourselves. I have no disagreement with someone who has examined things carefully and made a decision different from my own. I just want to make sure she has all the information.
The ideas of natural family living have heart and meaning and are a sustainable way of caring for children. They are not a dogma. I want to know not that you have followed my way, but that you know what your own way is. And I hope that you will realize that the current cultural values regarding birth and parenting are social constructions of our times. Only by reconsidering them will you have the whole picture, and only the whole picture is good enough for your child.
Here are some of the basic ideas of natural family living, as I understand it:
- Pregnancy and birth are normal processes that do not require drugs or interventions.
- Breastmilk is the optimum food for humans.
- Cosleeping helps to facilitate successful breastfeeding and bonding.
- Mothers and babies need to be together, especially during the first three to five years of life
- Human babies have a need to be touched and to be held in arms.
- It is important to cultivate a community of like-minded families for friendship, information, and support.
- Eat food that is in as natural a state as possible.
- The human body has the capacity to fight off illness without the use of drugs and interventions.
- Unstructured play is essential to the full development of the human imagination.
- Hitting and punishment are un-necessary when children’s natural desire to cooperate is engaged to resolve conflicts.
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