Related posts:

1. Update: Good-bye First Trimester
2. Change
3. I’m Back (maybe!)

In that post, I stated that Kris and I are both the type of people that can get hyper-focused on a subject, sometimes to the (seeming) exclusion of all else. I say seeming because obviously, with a family, that’s not entirely true. The point remains, there are times that even when I’m talking to someone about something else, reading other things, or doing other activities, my brain is only thinking about a particular subject. I can research things to death. Then once I’ve had my fill of it, I often drop it and move away.

Meredith seems to be similar. As a very young baby or toddler, maybe a year old, she figured out how to open a jar lid. She spent over an hour, just sitting and unscrewing that lid, then handing it to me to put the lid back on. Rinse, repeat. I got tired of the “game” long before she did, but kept at it because I could see how fascinating it was for her. She’s always been like that, where she will figure something out and then just practice and repeat it over and over until she’s had her fill. I know that many kids like repetition, so I don’t think she’s alone in this. You hear about kids who want the same story read, the same movie watched, etc.

Back around her third birthday, I wrote about her fascination with Egypt. When she showed an interest in Egypt and her pyramid, I didn’t just leave it at that and let her stumble around to figure things out on her own. That’s not what I believe life learning is about. We got books from the library, rented movies, found games, and looked at pictures. Some of the things I offered she rejected outright and others she ignored. But there were some she was very interested in and these led to more and different interests. In fact, the TV watching now may have indirectly been started from the interest in Egypt, since it was through a show we borrowed from the library that she really started to realize how cool TV could be.

So what does this have to do with TV? Well, it got me to thinking. What would I do if she was interested in any topic besides TV? I would explore it with her. I would approach it from different angles. I would try and find out what fascinates her about it.  But mostly I would try and enjoy it with her. I don’t want to fall into the trap of trying to turn everything into a learning experience either!

So, what if her interest right now is TV? Not because it’s easy to veg out and become overstimulated by it, but because she really loves to watch TV. What is it about the TV that she enjoys? The stories and characters? The fact that anything can happen? The characters moving on the screen? How can I expand this interest?

I’ve decided to treat it like I would any other interest. I would love suggestions! Maybe she would be interested in making her own movies or writing her own stories. I was thinking maybe I’d get a blank notebook and invite her to help me go through old magazines and cut out pictures to paste in the book, then make up stories to go with the pictures.

Last night when she asked to watch Three Little Pigs, we made puppets. This morning we acted out a puppet show. Later I made a movie of her doing a puppet show on her own. I plan to make her a puppet theatre with some of the boxes we have. Another day, I might show her how to make a claymation movie or have her be the videographer and we can figure out something to make a movie of together. Later in the day, when Kris and I were distracted by making food, she did wander into the TV room and turn it on. But she was out every few minutes wanting food or water or just to talk. She came out for good before the show had even ended. Then around three (which is her tired time every day), she asked me if I would lay down and snuggle with her and watch a show with her, so of course I did.

I’m actually a little bit excited now thinking of things we can do that expand on TV as an interest. And I’ve realized that even if she isn’t interested in trying most of the ideas out and just wants to watch TV right now, that’s okay too. I do trust that when she has her fill (and especially as the weather gets nicer and Kris and I have the house back together the way we want it), the TV will likely be off again most days too.

Related posts:

1. Learning Through Living
2. How to unschool
3. TV, ADHD, and other random thoughts

And I do see that she’s really enjoying these shows. Kris and I are both of the personality type that can get hyper-focused. In fact, I recently read a fascinating article on the Freedom to Learn blog about kids diagnosed with ADHD. At one point, he quotes someone from a Sudbury school who says:

The ADHD label is applied to two very different sorts of kids. One type really has "Attention Surfeit Disorder." Most of these get deeply involved in exactly what they want to do… They do their thing–with other kids when it overlaps with other kids’ interests, and without other kids when they are caught up in something that other kids aren’t interested in. They get labeled ADD not because they can’t attend but because they have no coping mechanisms for enforced boredom…..

This really struck a chord with me, as both Kris and I have been diagnosed with ADHD (me officially, not sure about Kris but I know it was suspected in him). However, we have joked that really we have, well, “Attention Surfeit Disorder.” It’s not that we can’t pay attention when we want to, it’s that we tend to hyperfocus on things. When one of us has an interest, in anything, it’s almost all-encompassing. We research, read, watch movies, discuss, etc. In other words, we are totally immersed in whichever topic it is. If someone tries to get us to pay attention to something other than what we’re focused on, they may find it hard to get our attention. We will often have two separate conversations going at the same time, one on his topic of interest and one on mine, but both able to keep up both threads of the conversation with no problems. Other people listening would probably get a headache though.

I would not be surprised if one or both of our kids end up with the same trait. And I think it’s a great trait when you’re not in school, being forced to go from class to class at specific times set by someone else, not given the opportunity to really dive in depth when a topic really interests you. But what a fabulous unschooling trait it is! And I have to keep in mind, that maybe Meredith’s interest right now is TV. It’s not like she’s a 6 month old baby being parked in front of Baby Einstein for brain development (which I don’t agree with). She never showed much of an interest in the TV at all until this past month while we’ve been moving. And it’s never been something that we use as a baby-sitting tool so we can get stuff done. There are tons of other things for her to do around here that she could do on her own just as easily (and often she does).

And the days when I find myself thinking “Wow, she’d sit in front of the TV all day long if I let her”, I have to step back and really examine that thought. Because the truth is, I probably would “let” her if she really wanted to, but she doesn’t. She will often have the TV on while she is busy playing with toys, drawing, jumping, doing gymnastics, “training” the dog, dancing, or any number of other activities, some of which are physical. Around three in the afternoon pretty much every day, she does need some quiet time to just recharge, and lately has chosen to plunk herself in front of the TV and sit like a lump watching it. And I say that very tongue in cheek, because I feel like it’s okay for her to spend some time just “vegging”. Most of the time though, she interacts, she talks to Kris and I about the storylines or the characters, she might act them out later. I have to be honest that I kind of liked that she had no idea who Dora or the myriad other TV characters were, but really I don’t think that pride is at all justified. She doesn’t see commercials, and doesn’t beg for all the Dora backpacks, Diego thermoses, Curious George bedding, etc, when we go out. It’s the commercialism aspect of most of these things that bothers me the most, and so far she doesn’t seem to be influenced by that.

And she spends a lot of time not in front of the TV. This past week we’ve been doing a lot of painting and moving things around, and moved the TV out of our main area and into it’s own room. We now have one large area dedicated to all her toys, as well as an arts and craft area; and then a TV area that is a bit separate where people can go and enjoy a show on their own or we can all go and sit together to watch something. Sometimes she will go off by herself into the other room to watch a show, but often she will be back out before the show is even done to see what we’re up to, paint, play with Play-doh, or play with Fiona. (She is absolutely loving that Fiona is more interactive now. I was a little worried that it would become harder as Fiona became more and more interested in what she’s doing, but it’s actually started to get easier again!)

It snowed the other day, and Meredith spent a lot of time outside playing with Kris (I was way too much of a wuss to go out for long, it was cold!). We don’t spend as much time outside as we normally like lately, but once we are settled and have finished painting and putting everything away (and it’s less cold), it will be so easy to get outside as much as we like.

I have decided not to be overly worried about the TV thing. If she is anything like Kris and I, she will get her fill, and then could go months without ever really showing much interest in it at all. Tonight she asked to watch “Three Little Pigs,” which is actually one of her favourite stories lately that I tell her before bed, but she discovered a show that plays it out too. I asked her if she wanted to make puppets and do our own show of it instead of watching it on TV, and she thought that was a fantastic idea. (That was actually what I had originally sat down to write about but then this rambly TV post popped out instead, so I will blog about the puppets tomorrow.) So I can also see that she is not addicted to the TV, nor is she a zombie or overly stimulated.

I would worry if I thought she was watching the TV because she had nothing else to do and was bored, and was watching it simply because it was there and available. But I see that she is aware of everything else around her and that she consciously chooses to watch the TV, and which shows to watch (and which specific episodes), because she enjoys it, and it is fun and interesting to her right now. Though TV is often demonized and it is easy to worry about her watching too much, when I really step back and pay attention, I can see that there is so much else in her life that she does too, and that TV is really a tiny part of a whole. And most other things we wouldn’t worry about even if they were an all-day, every day thing (like reading books, dancing, playing piano). I don’t want to tell her that something she enjoys has less value than something else I’d rather her enjoy instead. I want her to decide for herself what has value in her own life. The Three Little Pigs thing got me thinking about what I would do if her interest was in something other than TV. But that’s another post for another day, this one is more than long enough.

Related posts:

1. More on TV and life learning
2. Thoughts on Chores
3. Learning Through Living

I don’t make a point of correcting her, but she then asked me to spell Mimi, so I wrote it too. She examined mine carefully, and then wrote it again herself:

The two first arcs are the M.

Then she drew a banana:

And “It’s a train track. Chugga chugga chugga, choo choo!” (Complete with sound effects and arm motion!)

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1. Spontaneous Learning
2. Homeschool Math

Meredith and I were walking into the grocery store together, and I asked her if she wanted a treat. She told me she wanted a Kit Kat bar. (They have been her favourite ever since we discovered that particular store carries a dark chocolate, non-dairy version.) Kit Kat bars usually come in a bar that can be broken into four pieces.

She said to me “Mama, I want a Kit Kat bar. And I’ll share with Mama and Daddy. One piece for Mama, one piece for Mimi…” Here she paused and seemed to be thinking for a bit. Then her face got bright and she said “No! One piece for Mama, two pieces for Mimi, and one piece for Daddy.”

It was really cool to see her doing calculations already! It’s not the first time, she has done other simple subtraction and addition problems before, but it’s one of the more complicated ones she’s done.

So nope, math doesn’t worry me. In school, math is a problem that needs to be solved. It can be avoided (by skipping math, glossing over the problems, etc) and it’s hard to see the point. In the real world, math is the solution to problems that arise. You can’t avoid it, and it’s just part of life, so why would you want to? I feel it’s like reading. I don’t think that children who are immersed in the world, with literate parents, could not learn to read or do math.

Related posts:

1. Spontaneous Learning
2. More unschooly learning
3. Fun with white boards

So of course I’m behind in blogging again. Here’s a quick recap of the last little while. Halloween was a lot of fun this year. We went to an Enchanted Halloween event that was a lot of fun. There was a train ride that Meredith was very excited about, a magician, lots of crafts, games, a bouncy castle, and of course candy.

We went trick or treating in the evening with good friends around the neighbourhood. Meredith was a monkey. She has been asking to be a monkey since the summer, and was so excited when we went and got her costume. She wore it all over the place, including out to look at houses one time with our realtor! She has been eating bananas like crazy (because that’s what monkeys do!) and will randomly start going “oooh oooh, eeeh eeeh”.

The day after Halloween we had fun smashing our pumpkins in the backyard and then adding them to the garden and compost bins.

I finally roasted the two pumpkins I got out of our garden and made a homemade pumpkin pie. The filling turned out awesome. The crust wasn’t very flaky, but some friends/family have given suggestions on how to make it better next time. Unfortunately the recipe I used made enough for two pies so there’s another in the freezer already. Oh well, the filling makes up for the crust.

I joined a homeschooling group that is further up island, to ask some questions about living up there and start to get to know the group. I’m surprised and gratified to learn there’s actually a very active group and they plan a fair number of activities together already. There are quite a few other unschoolers as well. We’ve already done a few things with them, including going to Goldstream Park last week.

We ended up getting separated from the group near the end, but Meredith had a blast and spent over an hour playing in the water. This was sometime after she fell in the first time. It was a warm day and being wet didn’t bother her. I was surprised about some of the reactions of people around us. Negative ones, like kids wanting to join in and parents pulling them away and making snide comments about how “that girl is going to catch pneumonia” or “parents shouldn’t let their kids do things like that” within obvious ear shot of me. There always seemed to be someone around the couple of times she fell, which meant lots of gasps and Meredith wondering what was wrong and looking close to tears, but I’d go in (I had rubber boots too) and help her up and ask her if she was cold or wanted to go back to the van and she always said she was fine and wanted to keep playing. There were positive comments too. One dad who let his two sons join in and play with her, an older gentleman who made a comment about these being the best moments in life, etc. Regardless of everyone else, we had fun.

And Fiona ate leaves.

She is a happy, snuggly, sweet baby and we all love her so much. Meredith is still (mostly) really great with her, though they do have their moments. I don’t blame her. It must be tough to all of a sudden have someone else vying for attention and going after her toys! But she tells me that she loves her baby Nona all the time, and when Fiona wakes from naps Meredith is normally right there bringing her toys to try and make her happy. I’m so excited to watch them grow up together!

Related posts:

1. Happy Halloween!
2. Change is in the air
3. Update

Cosleeping

Two of my favourites this month were about cosleeping. I love cosleeping. I can’t imagine not having my babies right there next to me all night long, where I can reach out to touch or stroke them. Meredith has started sleeping in her own room, sometimes more than others, and I’m really cherishing the times she’s in our room now (which recently have increased again). It’s hit home how short a period it really is in the scheme of life. Yes, we have hard nights, and often the ones with Meredith in the room are harder because my stirrings with Fiona can disturb her too, but waking up with two little girls snuggled into me, being able to kiss their heads and hug them close to me, having them wake up and see me watching them and smile up at me… it’s priceless. Nothing can replace those moments. Meredith napped on me every nap in the mei tei until she was 14 months old (and still many naps after that too), and now that’s generally where you will find Fiona napping too. Either there, or in my arms if she’s fallen asleep nursing.

Annie wrote about A Sleepy Moment and also shared a favourite album, which we ended up downloading from iTunes. Meredith loves it. Rachel shared her thoughts on Co-Sleeping, Night-Waking, and Growing-Up. I loved this post. Her descriptions of nights with a small baby are so spot on. And though Meredith isn’t as old as her son yet, I often have the same feelings about her growing up when we’re cuddled up together at night. Her post is so eloquent and beautiful, and has really made even some pretty difficult nights recently a lot easier. As she says: “I chose to have both of my kids know that I was there and I was their mama, no matter what the clock said.”

Living and Learning

September is back-to-school month, and so I think school is at the forefront of most parent’s minds, even unschoolers whose thoughts are how nice it will be to have the parks back to being quiet again. I loved this post on the Flow of Love blog about Limiting Beliefs and Freedom from Fear. She discusses the messages that we as parents send to our children through our words and actions. We try hard not to use labels (even unschooling), because I feel like you can become stuck in this rigid box with limited sides, and labels can be interpreted differently by different people. I try not to label Meredith in front of her (she’s shy, she’s outgoing, she’s a leader, she’s a follower), because she can be all of these things, and none of them, depending on the situation. Even positive ones can create a box. I was labelled “gifted” as a child and suddenly I had this label I had to continually live up to for fear of disappointing those around me. This post is a reminder that children and people aren’t the only ones who are labelled, but the world around us as well.

I loved the Solace comic on Mama-Is. There are many times while wearing my babies (either of them) out and about that I just have to stop and kiss their heads and give them a hug and forget all about whatever’s happening around us. It’s one big reason I prefer to wear them on my front as long as possible.

A local unschooler wrote a post on her blog in response to an article about stay-at-home moms that was going around Facebook that really connected with me: Thinking SAHM. I adored this post, and I think it’s one I will be going back to. It is another that pretty much sums up my own feelings much better than I ever could. And I love Wendy Priesnitz’s comment to the post too: “If we don’t value our work as mothers, how can we expect society to do so?”

Another great post is Sarah‘s guest post at the Mahogany Way on Allowing Ownership. It’s a great reminder to me to really look at the reasons behind any rules or requests we may have, and to examine my underlying fears. It was timely too. Shortly after reading the post, Meredith started drawing on her Jenga blocks. It’s a not-even-full set we got with a bunch of other wooden blocks from Value Village for something like $3.99. My first instinct was to ask her not to draw on her toys, but I was able to step back and just watch her having fun and being creative with her own things.

Nutritionism

I first heard the term “nutritionism” when I came across the Food Renegade post Food – Not Nutrients – Is the Fundamental Unit in Nutrition. It’s not a September post but I just came across it so I’m putting it here. It makes so much sense. For a class I’m taking, I recently had to do a report on my eating habits and how well I follow the Canada Food Guide. I had to answer questions like “Do I choose low-fat dairy products?” My husband and I joked about how easily I could make a case for a McDonald’s diet being healthy using the criteria listed on the homework page. There is still no emphasis on real foods… ones that don’t come from a package. As long as you’re meeting some arbitrary minimum based solely on gender and age (but not body type, weight, health), you’re supposedly getting the nutrients you need, but are you really getting the food you need?

This month, Breastfeeding Moms Unite had a great post on Understanding Nutritionism and The Problem with Infant Formula. It really puts into perspective for me what the problem with formula really is, and why it’s only fourth or fifth best and can never be “just as good”. (First being directly from mom, second being pumped from mom, third being pumped from someone else (preferably not pasteurized), fourth is debatable but some say a homemade formula made of raw goat’s or cow’s milk, and last comes formula.) I feel for those women who can’t breastfeed for some reason, I really do. I would be devastated if it were me. But there is no way I could honestly say that formula is “just as good” or even “almost as good” as breast milk. It’s just not. It doesn’t mean I think women who knowingly choose to formula feed should feel guilty, especially not those who really can’t breastfeed (I know it’s hard to get enough donor milk), but just because you don’t have any other choice doesn’t suddenly make it better than what it is. I think this post had a very good point, in that formula alone is certainly not a deciding factor in future health, and a lot of the studies done on the effects of formula may not take into account that people who formula feed may not place as much importance on food as a whole and may be more likely to feed less real foods later in life too.

Related posts:

1. Sleeping through the night
2. Continued blog overhaul
3. Been a while…

To my surprise, the “control” apple was already getting mouldy. I guess that’s the humidity here working! We probably could have left it longer for more of an impact, but we go with the flow. We checked the apple out and Meredith spent a little bit just looking at it. I’m not sure what she was thinking but she seemed very engrossed so I made sure not to interrupt.

Once she was done with the control, Meredith carefully spooned our natron mix into a bowl. I asked her if she thought the mummified apple would be mouldy and she said no, though she wasn’t sure what to expect. The mummified one had shrunk and gotten very dark. “Like the mummies!” She did connect that to the game she’s been playing on the computer and the book about mummies that she likes to look at, because they all say fairly clearly that mummies get smaller and darker. That’s the salt/baking soda left on the apple, not mould.

After she was done examining and comparing both apples, she turned to play with the natron mix. “Mama, it’s very wet!” And so it was. I was actually surprised at just how wet it was.

She asked me if it was because of water from the apple, which is kind of neat as obviously she is retaining a lot of the information she’s been asking me about and we’ve been reading together. At her age, I try to keep things simple and not overload the information, so I just told her it was partly from the apple and partly from the air. She seemed satisfied with that and went on playing with it for a while.

Over all this was a very fun project for her, and one that she could do a lot of the steps fairly independently already. She loved setting it up and checking on the apple. I think if she’s interested in things like this again in the future, we will definitely repeat it, though next time I’d like to leave the pieces longer.

Related posts:

1. Preschool Project: Mummies and Mummified Apples
2. Unplugged Project: Transportation
3. Oatmeal Apple-Raspberry Crisp

We got there right on time, and were some of the first to arrive. In retrospect, I’m glad we got there as early as we did, as it got pretty crowded and busy later on.

I was immediately impressed by the freedom and trust most of the children were accorded. There was no coercion to participate in specific activities; no segregating the kids based on age, last name, or ability level; no broken recordings of parents calling for kids to be more careful or to stop doing what they were doing. The kids naturally congregated in groups loosely based on whatever activities were going on that interested them. Older kids and younger kids worked together, with some kids working in large groups, others in smaller groups, and others by themselves.

The main activities for the kids centred around a pool of water up the beach a bit from the ocean. Some kids were busy collecting sticks and driftwood and rocks to put in the water, others were scooping water and dirt out, and still others were digging a trench from the pool to the ocean.

I watched Meredith as she went from one activity to another, or one group of kids to another. She really seemed to be enjoying herself and the kids were able to solve most of their conflicts without intervention from any adults. They really were quite free to do as they pleased. As it got busy, Meredith seemed to want to be by herself more, but that was okay too. At one point, she went and sat by herself quite far down the beach, she’s only a speck in the second picture past the group of kids in the foreground.

Someone had brought a huge board for the kids to colour on, and it seemed like many of the kids did take a turn adding to it. Once again, there was no right or wrong. No one encouraged the kids to colour in the lines or to stick with certain colours. The younger kids’ contributions were just as important as the older ones. The whole experience was really quite refreshing for me.

Fiona slept through most of it but was awake for a bit before we left. (Check out the gorgeous longies my sister-in-law made for her!)

About an hour and a half after we got there it was starting to get quite crowded and our kids both seemed to be feeling a bit overwhelmed by all the people, so we decided it was probably a good time to head out. But I did really enjoy the time we spent there and feel like it’s a whole new culture of people, especially the obviously unschooly ones. It was also really great to meet some friends we already knew from other places, like Deirdre from Continuum Family who is an unschooler, as well as a work-at-home mom who sells all sorts of awesome things for EC’ers and natural family living.

The experience left me even more confident about home schooling. Watching the older children interact with each other, the younger kids, and the adults; it was clear that they didn’t have socialization problems. If anything, they were better socialized than many traditionally schooled kids I know, as their network of friends involved kids (and adults) from all age groups.

I honestly don’t know how anyone could think that this:

is a better experience for kids than this:

Related posts:

1. Unschool vs School
2. Spectacle Lake & Bamberton Beach
3. Witty’s Lagoon

In my search for fun Egypt-related resources, I found this Living and Learning blog which has some great links and ideas for things to do with a preschooler. I stuck mostly to the mummy ones since that seems to be what is really fascinating Meredith right now. She has a page about mummifying a Barbie doll and an apple. The apple seemed like a simple and easy science project that Meredith could understand. So off to the local deli we went and I let her pick out an apple. Back at home, we cut it in half and then into quarters. We ate two of the quarters and placed the other two into two plastic cups.

At this point, I asked Meredith what she thought we could pour over the apple to mummify it. She immediately replied “salt”. Yep, she’s definitely internalizing a lot of what we’re doing. Ancient Egyptians actually used natron to absorb moisture out of the corpses and dry them out. It also increases the pH, which helps inhibit bacterial growth. A mixture of half baking soda and half salt is very close to natural natron. We used just over 1/3 cup of salt and 1/3 cup of baking soda.

Mix these together, and pour them over one of the apples. Meredith wanted to do this herself, but if you were wanting to be very exact, it would probably be best to hold the apple away from the edges of the cup a bit while pouring. There are a few places our natron mixture doesn’t completely cover the apple. I am just wanting to find some fun projects for Meredith to do, so I’m not too worried about it working perfectly.

Place both apples somewhere preferably where they won’t be disturbed too much and out of direct sunlight. We put them at the back of our pantry, where it’s nice and dark. We’ll check on the apple that’s not in the natron mixture next week, and once it’s really starting to rot (but preferably before it attracts any bugs or starts to smell, lol), we’ll pull the other apple out of the natron mixture and compare them.

Meredith was really excited about this experiment. The first thing she wanted to do this morning when we got up was check on her “mama apple”. (She knows that mummies are different than mommies, but doesn’t seem to quite realize that just because you can call a mommy a mama that doesn’t make a mummy a mama too hehe.) We pulled it out and of course there was barely any change, but she wanted to look and pointed out that it had started to brown a bit. I would say that so far this was a big hit, and something easy for preschoolers to do mostly themselves and to understand. I’ll update in a week or two (or more) when we see the final product.

Update: Go here to see the results.

Related posts:

1. Mummified Apple Project
2. Butternut Squash with Apples and Maple Syrup
3. Preschool garden project: Seed balls